Oh whhhaaat, Lori got a job at Betsy Johnson? Sweeeet!

IT'S OPEN FOR BUSINESS!
Not business ... but you can look at it and enjoy it now!

www.austinandmel.com

Everything is there, from the now published honeymoon registry, to information about Muncie, and lots of fun info about our bridal party and mothers.

I got a really good idea for thank you gifts for the honeymoon registry too! Granted, no one will see them until June of next year, but still ... :)

Go check it out! I think Austin did a really wonderful job. I was so happy to come home from work and see it all done! (Though he still needs to write his story on the How We Met part. :P)

Update -


I believe a reception area MAY have been found. :X We're looking into it ...

It's the second floor of a building downtown, a closed and then reopened music venue with wood floors and VERY bright walls of all sorts of different colors ...

asdljsadljkasd

I hope I hope I hopeeee!

My kitchen smells like hamster cage and Oust. It's smelled like hamster cage for about two days now, and I can't figure out why. So now I sprayed Oust, and it smells like hamster cage and Oust.

It just seems like no matter what, I can't get my house clean enough to suit me. I can hardly walk on the carpet without cringing -- I want to clean/shampoo it so badly and vacuum like, every other day. And that's because I already vacuum pretty regularly.

Anyway, I have a few more minutes left to eat my Ramen before I have to go back from my lunch break.

My job is fun. My coworkers are funny.

I'm mad that I didn't get to see Austin on my break, but I get out an hour early, so we're cool.

Also, the crappy weather is getting to me. I just want to see the sun again, for heaven's sake. It's been drizzling and raining non-stop for nearly two days now, and at nearly 12 noon, it's still dark and gray and barely making 50, 55 degrees.

As for you guys in the Rockies, please give us some sun before sending us any of your snow. Quite frankly, I don't want your snow yet. I don't believe I'm ready!

Austin's disco moment (0:33 mins)...not super disco...more like flailing arms and jumping around. :) Note when Isaac says "It's funny that he's not even a student here."

Dancing to Flo-Rida (1:13 mins)...the song that made the last video.

The disco master, defeated. (4:50 mins) It's worth it if you have 5 minutes ... it's just me trying to "console" him. "You wanna soooda?"

Anyway, there are the vids. They open in Windows Media, AVI. files, so they'll have to load before they play, but take a look if you're interested. :) The last one has its funny moments, hence my keeping the whole 5 minutes of it.

I will upload videos tomorrow. I'm WAY too exhausted, so much that I'm shaking. Austin stole the dance floor before making himself nearly sick, haha.

Anyway, here are pictures from my Friday night.



( Onward! )

I thought about writing individual emails to people, but I don't have everyone's address, and I might as well just say it in the same place it all started --

-- I do want people to know that ... he isn't ... well ... I don't have many adjectives for it.

He and I talked ... and he was more than mature ... more mature than I, crying my head off like an idiot, having to be talked down ...

Somethings never change.

Austin convinced me to make the call. He told me it's not worth losing a friend over.

I get stubborn.

So stubborn that I still can't apologize. But ... I can empathize.

And ...

I can't form words other than ...

Sometimes I wonder if we're all just inhabitants of the Tower of Babel, every day, all the time.

I'd like to say that I hope this is the last of it. But as I've said, when you have faith, there doesn't need to be hope ... although I obviously don't have faith that this is the last of it. So I guess I need to.

Austin is sitting with me at the kitchen table showing me pictures of dogs we've rescued. "What did we call him again? Oh yeah, Remus Lupin." He smiles as he looks back at the phone. He takes a picture of Stella and shows me, "She's just so cute. I mean, she looks like a boy, but she's cute."

I'm too exhausted right now.

Please please pleeeease take one second to vote! It'd mean a lot. :)

It was 85 degrees today. That's the warmest it's been since I got here.

I am only posting because the monitor is actually a 60" television and I had to see LJ on it.

I have done three days of my diet successfully!

BAI!

Oh, and I have two job interviews next week, each one with a different bank across the street from each other. Kinda funny. :) Can't guarantee that they won't go the way of my teaching interviews (duds) but hey, they're interviews, and my degree has to count for something where the minimum requirement is a high school diploma or equivalent.

I'm trying to keep my mind off the economy ... it's hard as hell to not start to blame it when it feels like I'm not having any luck ... fact is, it is the economy. Barf. :/

If anyone has a bit of Felix for me ... !

Oh, speaking of which, I saw the new Harry Potter during the midnight showing ... get there two hours early and hung out with my man in our perfect seats.

Yeah, I coulda pee m'self. I fxxking love this story.

I'm in the middle of the last book and will literally break down crying if ANYONE or anything spoils it for me, accidentally or otherwise.

Okay, I'm being a little dramatic. But I can't promise that wouldn't actually happen.

I had to bail my mom's car out for $278. My apartment will tow for any little thing so ... and I don't know when she can pay that back to me. She paid me back $325 today, which I've already deposited, but until Approximately $400 of other debts are paid back to me ... well ... I'm about $400 short. I'm not really that stressed about it though. I'm getting $125 tomorrow for the rest of my couch ...

My mom got a job at Kroger, by the way! Yep. In the bakery. So happy for her.

Tomorrow is Thursday ... Friday, Bev and Claudia are going to feed Austin and me for lunch ... then Saturday we're having dinner with Austin's Dad, uncle, and my mom ...

I don't have a job in Muncie yet ... but I'm taking $800 out of my savings/investment account to cover some extra bills, and in August or September, I'm going to begin the process of relinquishing my Texas Teacher Retirement money (long, technical, reasons as to why I can/will do this) as it won't be doing much good in Texas anymore ... so even if I don't get a teaching job, I know I'll be okay for a while. I know I will be.

After about a week or two settling in in Muncie, I'm going to look for a restaurant job. After teaching for a year, I know I could do it, no problem ... and it's the most lucrative job I can think of right now ...

I found a really cool chair in a dumpster and refinished it. It's nice ...

Oh man, I really don't have anything to say. I will, just ... not right now.

Oh yeah! I bought SPACE BAGS! Hell yes. They work too. I have like 999999 pillows in a jumbo bag and all my dirty clothes and some purses and coats in a jumbo cube and it's like, all compact and stuff now ...

Okay, this is soooo pointless.

I just don't feel like writing/expressing lately. I just want to do work and get organized and that's where my head is. I'm feeling peaceful and pretty excited, I suppose ... Stella's getting so big and cuddly ... I know that's random but ... okay ...

Haha, alright, I'll update with something more substantial later. I really will. And expect pictures of my yankee abode next week.

I am home early watching Maury for the first time in years while my mom makes chicken wings in the oven.

Maury is funny.

And this was probably better left for a tweet, but ... I don't know ... I feel good. Peaceful.

Yesterday was my class day of full classes with the kids. Today I only get to see my first period class, since they're taking finals for 1st and 7th periods and I don't have a 7th. If I'm really expected to stay until 3:50 today, I'm going to be bored as hell.

I brought my camera and tripod to take class pictures with them.

I also wrote a letter for them that I'll post here for you all to read later.

I just need to make copies.

I'm beginning to realize how very un-funny I am! Why does everything I talk about in my journal have to be so emo and feelings?

I guess because I don't have voice post. If I had voice post I'd post with me saying in my Moaning Myrtle voice: "It took Cedric ages to riddle it out. Almost aaaaall the bubbles were gone..." Danielle, apparently, hates it.

Nothing seems important enough to talk about. Nothing about myself. Nothing about anyone else or anything else. All I can think about is rediscover_me and phoinos ... Liza, you are loved.

I am hoping and praying that I have found my home in Muncie.

http://muncie.craigslist.org/apa/1149435659.html

The picture there is horrible, but you can see it on Google Street View. It's a white house right on the corner of Walnut and Columbus. It's a two story home, but the rental is for a two bedroom area on the bottom floor with a basement and a porch. $375 a month, I pay utilities. It's right across the street from the high school Austin would have attended, and the school that many of his friends did. It's also right across the street from Concannon's, the best donuts in the WORLD! If the girls came to visit, they'd have their own room, and we could walk across the street in the morning for the tastiest breakfast ever.

Only cons are that there's no fence for Stella, and the area isn't particularly fantastic, but the police station is two blocks away and the high school is across the street. The people aren't bad, just ... redneck, haha. But really, I know I could make this place look great.

They also said Stella would be NO problem at all. There's not even a pet deposit or anything.

Austin's going to go look at it with his dad tomorrow, and I said that if he loves it, just write the deposit check and I'll put the money in his account.

They showed the property twice today, so I hope neither of those people put down a deposit. :( I really don't know if I'm going to find a deal like this any other time. I love the idea of having a second bedroom, I really do. I love having company and I love making them comfortable, so that would just be great.

Eep. I hope I can get it! Then, that's one problem solved, and furthermore, I won't have to worry so much about finding $500+ a month for rent for an apartment where I feel like I live in a hotel.



700 N Walnut St

Sometimes, I honestly feel like all the music and art and youthful passion has been drained from my spirit, and I've been left with nothing but the shell of an average working American. And it's not fair that I never got to say goodbye.

I know you're in there, I know you're in there, I know you're in there. Come out, come out, come out.

For those of you who are on my twitter and saw my tweet in which I appeared to have quite nearly lost my mind, here's background, and here's why I feel bad, now.

In February, on a rainy day, in crawling, 5 mph traffic, I rear ended a woman while passing under 610 going west on Westheimer. Someone honked their horn to my right, so I turned to see if everything was okay and to make sure no one was honking at me, and when I turned back to look out the windshield, I "slammed" into her at about 10 mph, as, like I'd said, traffic was crawling and we were all stopping and going a lot.

Anyway, she was horrible and wouldn't talk to me, nor would she heed my advice that maybe we shouldn't STAY IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD IN THE RAIN AT 5PM IN HELLISH TRAFFICVILLE, USA ... she just called a cop, looking all distressed and angry. Cop came and told us to move out of the road.

Please note there was NO DAMAGE AT ALL TO EITHER CAR. I hit her hard enough to startle anyone, but as far as bumpers go, it was a tap. There wasn't even a scratch. It was pathetic.

The cop ticketed me for failure to control speed, and then told me that if I plead not guilty to this, that everything will be dismissed if he, HE, doesn't show up to contest the plea. Basically, this cop was a badass. Not only did he graduate from the high school I work at, but he specifically gave me instructions on how to get out of this ticket, and made it a point to suggest that the other woman was a basket case, and that this could have happened to anyone. I wasn't texting or looking at my iPod or anything so, yeah.

So I did that, got a new court date, and yesterday I went for that court date. And when I got there, and was called up, this woman explained to me what would happen if I decided to go ahead and plead not guilty. She mentioned that the woman was here. (This woman also tried to claim injury but my insurance company argued remarkably on my behalf, even showing proof from a dealership that there was no damage to either car to suggest I was going fast enough to do anything, and all the woman was eligible for was a free check up from her doctor.)

I was like, "What woman?" That's with this lady, bailiff or whatever, told me that yeah, she was here to argue her case. So it turns out, the cop misinformed me and that it in fact had to be the chick I hit who had to show up and point to me and go, "Yeah, that was her." So I started crying because number one, I felt lied to. And number two, I don't have the money for defensive driving or a ticket.

In the end, my date was reset for May 27th, and on that day I have to go pay $100something for defensive driving, lest I get "points" or something on my driver's licence.

On the way out, I fake cried (and the Oscar goes to) right in this bitch's face to see if she
had any feelings at all. She had the snarliest, greediest face.

And the reason it upset me so much was that even if I got out of the ticket, she wouldn't get anything for it. The ONLY reason she showed up was for revenge. To see me get a ticket, to get charged with guilty for this stupid thing, this stupid thing that ISN'T WORTH ANYTHING, not even to our cars since there was no damage at all. She is the embodiment of every kind of human being I hate.

And the reason I feel bad is because it mattered so very much to me.

I texted Austin, I cursed, I called her horrible names, and had I any less of a mind I probably would have been tempted to turn violent.

My temper is just tremendous ... and I don't want it to be. I don't know if its the anxiety, or what, but all the peace I try to maintain within myself and for others just went out the window because of this woman. I felt like such a hypocrite. She looked like the devil staring me in the face just to test me, to see if I really could do what I said I wanted so badly to be able to do. And I couldn't. My only consolation is that I was able to admit it.

So anyway ... I still have a lot of resentment in my heart toward this woman, whoever she is, and I want it to go away.

But just the other day, I saw an old, blue Toyota Camery ... and I still checked the license plate to see if it was Brenda.

I realized that if I saw Brenda in person today, it would still be so hard not to lunge at her, take one single shot at her, simply because I don't have the words, to this day, to express how much she took from me. I don't know if I'd be able to be calm.

Then, I wondered if I am secretly full of all the things I hate, and if true forgiveness really isn't nearly as easy I was under the impression it could be.

On a lighter note, JoAnna asked me if I went to the Spoon show on Tuesday. I told her about Pavement. I love my kids.

Oh, wow, my birthday is in just over three weeks.

I didn't think I was even supposed to be 23. Or twenty-anything. I thought I was going to be 17 for the rest of my life.

I survived. I am very tired. But I did it. I have to go judge a prose tournament now, but that's fine with me. I don't have any money on me, but I did hear that there refreshments?

What to do now, while I wait . . .